Editor’s Note: This article was written by Susan Moran, President and Owner of That’s It! Wedding Concepts, a Central Pennsylvania–based wedding planning and design company. Susan brings more than 40 years of experience to the wedding industry and I am honored to welcome her as a Firefly Brides guest writer, sharing expert insight for couples planning weddings throughout Central PA and beyond.
A definitely indefinite part of completing your Wedding Budget is the “Tipping Quandary!” In today’s world of information overload, this still remains a universally perplexing and baffling question for many couples.
Simply put, this is a completely subjective process rather than a mandatory requirement, and only suggestions and guidelines exist to assist you. If you try finding the “right answer,” it will continue to elude you! The “Holy Grail of Tipping and Gratuities” appears, at first, to be an unending quest…but…I am here to help!
WHAT?
In order to determine the best way to make sense of this process, keep in mind one very basic and reality-altering principle… “Merit-Based!” Period! If any Vendor should request a Tip or Gratuity, that is highly unprofessional, and you definitely should feel no pressure to comply.
WHY?
You will form uniquely special relationships with your Vendors, some closer than others. When you feel that a member of your Wedding Professional Team has “gone above and beyond,” “made all the difference in your Wedding Experience,” “saved the day,” or “exceeded your wildest expectations,” then you’ll know it is the time to extend a Tip or Gratuity. It should be something that comes from your heart, a way to let them know how grateful you are for their role in making your Wedding Day perfect!
WHO?
While Tips or Gratuities are always deeply appreciated, they are never expected. Consider this: in general, “accepted practice” in our culture is to regularly tip “waitstaff” and “servers.” The way that we do this, however, is very much an individual choice, which widely varies from person to person, usually based on the percentage of monies spent.
Everything changes, however, when this process applies to your Wedding, as the “accepted practice” is totally open for interpretation. Your Vendor Team, the Wedding Professionals you select, are the foundation on which your Wedding Day is built… Ceremony and Reception…and everything associated with the successful execution and production of this special moment. They are essential! Let’s break it down…
In considering the Venue Owner and their staff, reflect on how they made you feel and what unique or unexpected ways in which they may have taken a personal interest, made accommodations for unusual circumstances, or granted wishes typically outside their scope of service. Anything that touched your heart is your guide in extending a Tip or Gratuity.
With respect to Catering Service, review the specifics of your Contract with them to determine if Tips or Gratuities are included. If this is not obviously stated, rather than assume Tips or Gratuities for your servers, bartenders, captains, etc. are included in the Contract, it is always best to inquire about your specific Caterer’s protocols. Just give them a call or shoot them an email or text!
When considering the other members of your Vendor Team, check your Contract with each of them as well for any reference to Tipping or Gratuity. While you may find something of this nature, it is pretty rare. So…the ball’s in your court, so to speak, about extending a Tip or Gratuity to them.
These Vendor Team Members, the ones who play your music, preserve your memories photographically or cinematically, safely take you to and from your Wedding, make your floral dreams a reality, beautifully and creatively satisfy your sweet tooth, enhance your event design, keep all the details in check and running smoothly, provide fashion-forward paper or linen embellishments… any or all of these individuals would be so touched by any gesture of gratitude on your part.
WHEN?
Typically, extending Tips or Gratuities is done immediately prior to your Wedding by you, at a time that feels right, or they are given to your Wedding Planner, who will distribute them on your Wedding Day.
HOW?
Honoring your Vendor Team with a Tip or Gratuity is most often thought of as monetary; however, thoughtfully showing your gratitude in other ways is also something to think about. Whatever your decision, anything you do will be deeply appreciated.
Whether you choose to extend a cash Tip or Gratuity, a gift that either reflects your Wedding Day or honors your specific relationship with the individual, a lovely and sincere handwritten note, or a public endorsement of their service to you, it remains 100% your choice! Whatever you decide and whatever your Budget is able to support, it is truly “the thought that counts!”
SOLVED!
Remember, a heartfelt and confident “thank you,” in any form, is the perfect solution to the Definitely Indefinite Wedding Dilemma of Tipping and Gratuities! Happiest Wedding Planning! That’s It!
Here's a RECAP for your convenience!
Tipping or Gratuities should always be “MERIT-BASED” rather than compulsory!
This is a completely subjective process, and you will be unable to find any “rules.”
Tipping or Gratuities means that you are showing you are grateful for service that exceeds your expectations and provides memorable and meaningful support.
Your “Vendor Team” should all be considered. The typical practice of refraining from extending a “tip” to Business Owners does not apply in the Wedding Industry, as most of your Vendors do own their Business.
Everyone extends their own appreciation for exemplary service differently, in type and in amount. Any and all of this is acceptable.
Tips or Gratuities may be:
- Cash
- Check
- Gift
- Personal Note
- Endorsement (word-of-mouth and online)
- Other – 100% your choice
Read more about the author, Susan Moran, and That’s It! Wedding Concepts in her Firefly Brides vendor feature.
